if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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