I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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