you have to choose: penises or morals?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
