I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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