Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
