I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I don't deserve a penis
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
True strength comes from lack of pants
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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