Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
