how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
