you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
