Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
So squirting runs in the family.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
