So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
