dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
