How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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