i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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