We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
