Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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