he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
