Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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