i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
