Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
