Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
