It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
