I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
