So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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