Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
did i walk over a car last night?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
