forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
