I wanna passion pit in your ass
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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