At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
