Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
