what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
