yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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