i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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