Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
