I want to make a zoo with you.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
