I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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