fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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