he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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