She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
