it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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