Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
There r osticjed everywhere
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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