All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
