lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
