how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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