HIV tests are more positive than that guy
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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