Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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