i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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