Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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