so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
