youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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