3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
